burning the candle

hi there. i miss you.

Seriously, life has been way too hectic lately. I feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends, and just when I put out one fire, another one crops up. Now, I’m mixing metaphors. Look what lack of sleep has done to me!


Since my last post I’ve been focusing a lot of time and energy in many different directions.

My final CIA exam is a week from tomorrow Thursday, and I’m so nervous and upset with myself for not being more well prepared. It’s my last exam, and it would be amazing if I could pass and just be done with this certification, but I haven’t given it the time I need to pass, and if I fail, that’s three more months minimum of studying and stressing. I still have a week, but I’m scared.

I spent most of the last two weekends pouring my heart and soul into my advising efforts at Alpha Chi at Rutgers, and it wasn’t at all what any of us expected. It was formal recruitment, and if you know sororities, you know that is a BIG HUGE DEAL. The advisory board and national consultants spent a lot of time working with the women to make everything great. The ladies of Alpha Chi were amazing and put on the best recruitment I’ve ever seen, but it wasn’t enough.

When you give your absolute best (which we all did), you can’t blame yourself if you fail, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting. I know what happens is no one’s fault, but I really wanted this for the women. My heart breaks for them because now the future of their chapter is in peril, and there’s nothing we can do. I spent most of Sunday crying then picked myself up (well, Chris picked me up and dusted me off… several times) and decided there’s nothing to do but move forward. March on.

There are more aspects of my life that are facing big changes right now, but I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it just yet. Change, even good change, is hard.

Luckily, not all of my life is in flux. As I mentioned before, Chris, as always, has been my rock lately. It’s so cliche to say, but honestly how else do you describe someone who is literally your focal point of stability in a storm? He was up with me when I found out the bad Alpha Chi news in the middle of the night on Saturday. He talked to me for HOURS (tearful, sometimes misdirected rageful hours) on Sunday and made sure I didn’t go to bed upset. The most amazing part, is that it didn’t even surprise me. That’s just him. He’s the most reliable best friend and partner I could ever ask for, and I really spend every minute of every day thankful that I found him when I did and incredulous that I went so long without him.

Sorry, but we’re not done with the mush yet. I’m also thankful for my friends and family. Dinner Sunday night with our favorites Debbie and Mike was literally the high point of that entire weekend, and I don’t even think they know it! Just getting my mind off of the weekend’s events and laughing a little (a lot) made my night leaps and bounds better.

Last night, I got adorable Valentine’s Day cards in the mail from my mom and sister and Chris’ mom too. Valentine’s Day cards! How cute are they?

So, yeah. I haven’t been posting here a lot because I haven’t felt like there’s been a lot of good news to share, but then I realized that’s life. Life is the good and the bad and sometimes finding the good in the bad. Waiting for something wonderful to happen to post is like waiting for life to be perfect. I’d end up missing out on so much. I want to remember it all. The ups and the downs. I don’t want to miss anything.


Now, if you made it through this wall of text, you will be rewarded with silly pictures of my weird cats. I’m thankful for them too. I guess.


After spending $8 on new hair ties, I found their stash under the couch.


Miles has decided he now enjoys sleeping with two feet in a tissue box. Creep.



Every morning we wake up to this. I’m taking it as a warning like “Mouse sleeps with the fish(flavored kibbl)es.”

That’s all. Thanks for stopping by. I’ll try not to be such a stranger.


3 thoughts on “burning the candle

  1. Pingback: I’m a CIA! | I Broke my Umbrella

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