Welcome to Bland Land

I promised I’d share some colonoscopy prep because I hope it will make the whole procedure a little less intimidating, so here goes!

My doctor gave me a set of instructions when we talked about doing the colonoscopy, so I read up. I learned that prep would actually start 3 days out from the actual procedure rather than the day before like I thought. I’m sure the instructions differ from doctor to doctor, but mine wanted me to begin eliminating fiber 3 days before the procedure. That meant, on Wednesday I had to stop eating all fiber. The instructions specifically said, “No fruits and vegetables. Meat and soups (? not sure I get that one) are ok.” No fruits and veggies? I can’t even explain how difficult it was to wrap my head around that. I’ve been training myself since college to include lots of fruits and veggies as part of a healthy diet, so this was weird, but I figured it’d be kind of fun to eat “unhealthily” for a few days. I was wrong. It was totally bland and left me feeling hazy and sick.

Wednesday was easy enough. I started the day with some gluten free toast and Earth Balance. I had a pear for a morning snack (cheater, I know, but it was going bad. I had to!). Lunch was turkey and cheese on some Wasa crackers and my pre run snack was Kashi and soy milk. By dinner, I was already craving some veggies. Unfortunately, chicken and rice was on the menu.


How’s that monochromatic dinner looking? Luckily the rice was Goya, so it had a little flavor and I marinated the chicken in some garlic, white wine and mustard which was also very tasty. I cheated again with the sweet potato, but again, it was going bad in the fridge, and I wanted to eat it. I skipped the skin, so I should be fine. I was bored with it though, so I stopped eating halfway through the plate.

Yesterday, I wanted to get a lot of calories in since I knew I’d be fasting today. I started the day with gluten free toast topped with avocado. I just can’t stay away from the greens. I snacked on some Kashi crackers before heading to Target to stock up for my liquid diet.

Our Target has a pharmacy, so I was able to pick up my prescriptions while there.


Both of these are medicines that will speed things up in the digestive department today. That red bottle is the same size as a normal prescription bottle, so hopefully that gives you an idea of just how big the jug is. I have to fill that jug with water and drink the entire thing to the tune of 8oz every 15 minutes until it’s done. That’s a lot of liquid, and you can’t sip it either. I think that may be the worst part. Don’t worry it comes with these “yummy” flavor packs you can mix in.


What do you think? A little lemon-lime? Pineapple? Maybe I’ll go really crazy and mix them all in! Yuck.

I picked up the limited number of other items I’m allowed to consume.


Chicken and veggie broth. I bought a lot because I’m not sure how hungry I’ll be, and I need to take in at least 16oz of fluids  every two hours. Speaking of fluids…


I think the only thing that’s going to distract me from my hunger is variety, so I picked up apple juice, limeaid, coconut water, and seltzer. I got Jell-O because it’s the only “solid” I can eat. And I picked up the Gatorade in hopes of keeping my electrolytes in balance. While we’re talking electrolytes…


The doctor also suggested I buy some Pedialyte and try to at least drink some of it since it’s best for balance. I’m sure I’m over-thinking all this. It’s really just one day, but over-thinking is sorta my thing.

Anyway, I continued the bland fest with a grilled egg and cheese because I was trying to keep the calories coming.


But, as soon as I ate it, I just felt gross. Don’t get me wrong, I love carbs as much as the next girl, but I guess avoiding gluten and aiming for a balanced diet has really kept an overflow of carbs out of my diet because I’ve just felt so full and sluggish for the past couple of days. I feel like my brain is fogged over, and I apologize for the typos I’m sure exist in this post. I’d pay $100 for a salad. I really would.

Mentally, I feel a lot better than I thought I would today. I’m still nervous, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also eager to get it over with, which is keeping me from totally chickening out.

I’m not sure I’ll get a chance to post before procedure, but I’ll fill you in on how the fast went, how the medicine tasted and how the procedure itself worked soon!


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