I know I said I as working to link categorical posts to specific days, but it didn’t feel appropriate to post yesterday, so let’s do this today instead.
So I thought I’d pop in with an update on how things are looking on the wedding front. As I mentioned, our engagement party was the unofficial start of Phase II of our wedding planning efforts. Phase I was all about getting that date! We did what we needed to sure up the date we wanted. I also lucked into finding my dress. Phase II is about everything else long term. I’d like to finish booking our vendors and schedule some trials. In this phase, I’d also like to firm up some dates for wedding related events. The next Phase will be all about actually doing things, but this one is all about the planning.
Obviously, I made myself a little to do list (complete with notes on what we’ve done so far):
*Research and book DJ- We found the one we want; now we gotta lock it down.
*Research and book florist
*Research and book hair (incl. trial)
*Research and book makeup (incl. trial)
*Schedule a tasting
*Schedule an engagement photo session- done!
*Find and buy a dress for engagement photo session
*Order Save the Dates
*Pick dates for Bachelor/ette party
*Pick date for shower
As you can see, we found a DJ and he’s available for our date, so now we have to book him. We had a photographer lined up (a friend of ours is trying to transition to the photography business full time, and her pictures are amazing), but we finally picked a date to take photos. We’re planning on using the photos for the Save The Dates which have to go out in December, so I’m glad we’ve got it on the calendar. I’m sure I’ll add more things to the list as I realize what else needs to get done, but I wanted to preface the next set of to-dos.
We had a pretty big change of heart (mind? both?) in regards to our wedding. We decided to tie the knot in the church. Originally, we had planned on having the ceremony in the same space as the reception and keeping things faithful but non-denominational. It was a joint decision. Though we were both raised Catholic, neither of us went to church after middle school, and religion doesn’t play a big role in our lives or those of our families. It seemed logical to get married in a more neutral location. Plus, we figured it’d be easier. A few things conspired to change our minds.
First, Chris felt badly telling his family it wouldn’t be a church wedding. Though not necessarily religious, they are traditional and haven’t really experienced many non-church weddings. Second, I was having a lot of anxiety regarding the ceremony. Wedding websites, magazines and books are at least 85% focused on the reception. There are tips and tricks and lists galore for planning, styling and orchestrating your reception party, but there’s so little information on planning a ceremony. That just didn’t jive with me. I mean, we are crazy excited for the reception, and we want our friends and family to have an amazing time, but it felt like we were neglecting the reason for the celebration. Both Chris and I really wanted our ceremony to be meaningful and memorable with an appropriate sense of gravitas the respect due the decision we would be making. We didn’t want to fly through the ceremony just to get to the party.
Now, to clarify, I’ve been to plenty of non-church weddings that were absolutely beautiful and elevated the ceremony to it’s proper place, but they were all so different. There was nothing I felt like I could use to work with without “copying” someone else’s wedding ceremony. I knew the minister we chose would help guide us, but it stressed me out that we had to come up with rituals and passages on our own.
Third, (I’m getting close to the point) we loved Cameron and Rich’s church wedding in Wisconsin. We reached the same conclusion without speaking to each other. We just looked at each other in a private moment and said, “Maybe we should consider a church wedding.”
So, we did. Our biggest hurdles were finding a church with meaning to both of us that was non-judgmental about our current distance from religion and lifestyle choices. Luckily, there is a great church that we both worshipped at separately while in school right down the road from our venue. We were so relieved after speaking with them to find that, not only were they accommodating and non-judgmental, they were congratulatory and welcomed us with open arms. Oh and they have our date available!
I just found out that our application was approved, and the news thrilled me. I was surprised at my reaction actually. I didn’t realize how strongly I wanted this or how much stress it was causing me until that moment. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I could tell that Chris was really happy about it as well. It just proves that even when you’re sure you know what you want, it doesn’t hurt to explore other options.
So the last items on my list of to-dos are:
*Meet with the priest and
*Schedule our religious education classes
There you go! That’s my big update and my Phase II to-dos! I’ll check in now and then when I have news to report.